When we think about self-care, we often focus on rest, nutrition, movement and mindfulness. But how we communicate—with others and about others—also has a strong impact on our well-being. Communication affects our relationships, shapes our emotions and influences how stressed or supported we feel.

The way we communicate supports self-care in two key ways:

• It supports our nervous system: Calm, respectful and emotionally aware communication helps reduce the body’s stress response. When conversations are handled well, we are less likely to enter “fight-or-flight.” This keeps us grounded and protects our energy and emotional resilience.
• It builds genuine connection: Respectful communication creates trust and understanding. Feeling heard and valued strengthens our sense of belonging — a core human need that helps protect against stress and burnout.

What Is Respectful Communication?

Respectful communication is about understanding and being understood in a way that supports clarity, empathy and connection. It focuses on mutual understanding rather than shaming, blaming or reacting defensively.

It includes listening with empathy, expressing your own feelings clearly, validating others and using calm, steady language.

Strategies for Communicating Respectfully

Avoid these behaviours:

• Name-calling or labeling:“She is so lazy. She never wants to help anyone.”
• Blaming or finger-pointing:“They never get the schedule right and it always ruins everything.”
• Shaming:“Anyone else would have done a better job than you.”
• Sarcasm or mocking tones:“Oh, look who’s back on shift. Must be nice to have so many days off.”
• Non-verbal disrespect: Eye-rolling, sighing, ignoring someone or using dismissive gestures. (Learn more about non-verbal communication)
  

Try these respectful communication strategies:

Set healthy boundaries

Boundaries protect your emotional energy and help you stay centered.

• Instead of:“You’re always late. You clearly don’t care how this affects everyone.”
• Try:“I feel stressed when handover is delayed. If you’re running late, please message me so I can plan ahead.”

Use strength-based communication

Focus on what is going well, not just the problems.

• Instead of:“You forgot to update the care plan again. I always have to fix it.”
• Try:“I noticed Mrs. Jay’s care plan isn’t complete yet. I know you’ve been busy and I appreciate the time you’re spending with residents. What would help you finish it before the end of your shift?”

Use “I” Statements

Share how you feel without placing blame.

• Instead of:“Joy is always on her phone. She doesn’t care about the team.”

• Try:“I feel concerned when I see time spent on phones during shifts. It seems like residents may not be getting full attention.”

Use trauma-informed principles.
Support choice, collaboration, understanding, and empowerment.

• Instead of:“You need to help me bathe Mr. Roy.”
• Try:“Mr. Roy needs a bath today. Would you be able to help me with that now, or would after your break work better?”

Tips for Practicing Respectful Communication

Notice what you feel in your body.

Different communication styles create different physical responses.

• When we shame, blame, or criticize, our body may tense—tight shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breath.
• When we choose calm, respectful communication, the body feels more open and settled. Breath becomes even and slow.

Tuning in to these signals helps you choose communication that supports—not drains—your well-being.

Take a pause.

A brief pause—even one slow breath—creates space between impulse and response.
Pausing allows you to:

• Reset your nervous system
• Prevent reactive communication
• Respond in a way that reflects your values and intentions