It often starts small.
A co-worker cuts you off during a report. Someone ignores your “good morning.” A team member sends a blunt message with no context. It’s not as obvious as yelling or name-calling, but something about it sits heavy.
It’s part of a growing wave of workplace incivility. It may go unnoticed by management, but over time, it weakens the connections and trust between people.
What’s behind the rise?
There’s no single reason why rudeness is increasing, but several forces in our society are exacerbating the problem and making it more complex.
- Stress has become constant.
- Short staffing, overtime, burnout, and the increasing complexity of care work are taking a toll. Personal stress adds to it, whether it comes from family, finances, caregiving, grief, mental health, or the struggle to balance work and life when everything feels like too much. When people are operating on empty, there is less room for patience or compassion
- Social media has changed how we talk.
- Many of us spend hours online, where outrage and sarcasm often drown out empathy. These habits can spill into real-life interactions.
- Polarization is rising.
- Difficult conversations about public health, safety policies, social issues, or even shift coverage now come with more tension than before. People are more likely to shut down or push back. The workplace becomes another site of conflict, rather than a space to connect.
All of this creates an environment where small acts of rudeness begin to feel normal, but normal doesn’t mean harmless.
What it looks like in care settings
In care work, incivility can look like:
- A colleague who regularly ignores your help requests
- A care aide who walks away mid-conversation
- A manager who gives critical feedback with no support
- A team member who always speaks last and loudly, leaving no room for others
- Group messages filled with sharp questions and no greetings
Over time, these behaviours send a clear message that you’re not respected, seen, or safe.
And when people don’t feel safe or respected at work, it affects everything. It can influence how they care for residents and clients, whether they stay in the job, and it contributes to burnout. It also puts the psychological health of the entire workplace at risk, not just those directly impacted.
Why it matters
Workplace incivility impacts the health of entire teams. When workers avoid each other, trust breaks down. People stop asking questions, stop offering help, and stop speaking up when they see something concerning.
It also leads to burnout. Many care workers say it’s not the job itself that pushes them out, but the feeling of being disrespected.
Research shows that even when people are burned out, many still stay in this type of work—whether in the same place or somewhere else. Whether they stay or leave, burnout takes a toll on their own well-being both at work and at home. It also affects the quality of care they provide.
There is a domino effect that comes from these seemingly small but powerful experiences.
What individuals can do
- Lead with kindness. Small acts help build connection and trust over time. Acknowledge your co-workers. Say hello. Offer help.
- Be mindful of your tone. Everyone has bad days. But snapping, sighing or giving the silent treatment can leave lasting impressions.
- Pause before reacting. If someone’s rude to you, take a breath before responding. Not every comment needs a comeback.
- Check in and ask – Am I stressed? Exhausted? Feeling unseen? Sometimes our behaviour reflects what we need but aren’t receiving.
- Apologize when needed. We all make mistakes, and a sincere apology can help repair relationships.
What organizations and leaders can do
- Model the behaviour you want to see; actions show what’s expected.
- Talk about civility often. Create space in meetings to talk about what respectful communication looks like and what to do when it’s missing.
- Address patterns early. If someone repeatedly dismisses, excludes or disrespects others, don’t brush it off.
- Recognize and reward respect. When people go out of their way to support one another, name it.
- Support mental health. Stressed teams are more likely to become fractured. Offer resources and encourage rest when possible.
When respect and boundaries are genuine, work stops feeling like a battle and becomes a place where people support and protect one another, and that changes everything.
Looking for more support? Explore June’s Get Psyched! or watch our webinar on exploring your relationship with work.
