The heart of civility: Choosing respect in every moment 

Most workplaces understand that bullying, harassment, and discrimination have no place at work. Policies exist. Training happens. And that matters. 

But here is a question worth exploring: once we’ve removed the harmful behaviour, what have we actually built? 

Too often, the answer is a workplace that is simply not disrespectful. That is not the same thing as a workplace that is respectful. The difference matters—because the way we treat one another shapes how much we enjoy coming to work, how connected we feel to our colleagues, how stressed we are at the end of the day, and whether we genuinely feel like we belong.

What does a respectful workplace actually look like? 

A respectful workplace is not defined by what it lacks. It is defined by what it actively creates. It is not about what it doesn’t have—it is about what it does have. 

That means going beyond “no one is being harassed, bullied, or discriminated against” to something richer: an environment where people genuinely feel respected and valued. It is inclusive. It values diversity. It means choosing to engage in a welcoming, respectful way that builds equity, belonging, and meaningful connection—including when we disagree. 

Think of it as a continuum. On one end, workplaces that are actively disrespectful. In the middle, workplaces that are neutral—no one is being harmed, but no one is going out of their way to build respect. On the other end, workplaces that are very respectful and very civil. 

The goal is not just to avoid the left side. It is to move deliberately toward the right. 

Respect is a choice – no matter how you feel about a person 

One of the most common misconceptions about workplace respect is that it depends on how we feel about someone. If we like our colleagues, treating them well comes easily. If we don’t, it feels harder. 

The truth is simpler: we don’t need to like someone to be civil and respectful to them. Liking our coworkers is a bonus, not an expectation. What matters is extending them the dignity they deserve. 

This reframe is especially important in workplaces where the work itself is demanding and stressful. Teams are diverse. Workdays are long. There will be people you connect with easily and people you don’t. Respect is not about that connection. It is about the choice you make in every encounter—and that choice is entirely within your control. 

Creating a truly respectful workplace requires that each interaction be shaped by compassion, kindness, and support. Not occasionally. Not only with the people we enjoy. Every day. With everyone. 

And it needs to be authentic. Performative politeness does not build trust or a sense of belonging. Genuine respect does. 

The respect continuum in action 

The difference between neutral and respectful often comes down to small, deliberate choices. Notice that the neutral response is not harmful—but it is not helpful either. The respectful column shows what active civility looks like.  

Disrespectful and uncivil	Neutral	Respectful and civil
Gossiping about a colleague	Not engaging in gossip	Choosing to speak well of that colleague or redirect the conversation
Criticizing a colleague’s approach in front of others	Saying nothing	Offering a hand with the work instead
Spreading a rumour	Hearing it and staying silent	Responding by sharing something you appreciate about the person the rumour is about
Criticizing a colleague in front of a resident’s family	Saying nothing about the colleague	Sharing with the family that your colleague has been working hard despite short staffing and giving their best
Blaming a colleague for something that went wrong	Saying nothing about the situation	Offering support and recognizing how they handled a difficult moment
Rolling your eyes when a colleague offers help	Letting them help without acknowledgement	Thanking them for offering to help
Making fun of someone after passing them	Walking by without saying hello	Saying hello
Purposely excluding someone	Letting them sit by themselves	Asking them to join you or inviting them to sit with you

The neutral column is where many of us default on a busy day. The respectful column shows what becomes possible when we choose to do something more. 

Why civility matters at work 

Civility is essential to building healthy, inclusive work environments. It protects people from the stress and burnout that come from being ignored, dismissed, or excluded. It creates meaningful connections and supports productive, satisfying work. 

When team members treat one another with genuine respect, everyone feels valued—and develops a stronger sense of belonging. People who feel they belong are more likely to enjoy their work, feel less stressed, speak up about concerns, collaborate openly, and stay committed to their teams. 

The connection runs both ways. Respect builds belonging. Belonging makes it easier to extend respect. Each deliberate act of civility strengthens this cycle. 

A team that communicates with respect shares the workload, supports one another through hard moments, and takes collective responsibility. A team that does not may stay silent, avoid collaboration, or let small tensions grow. 

Everyday acts that build respect 

Respect in the workplace does not come from a policy document or an annual training session. It lives in the small, repeated actions people take every day. 

• Express gratitude. A simple thank-you goes further than most people realize, especially on a hard day. 

• Convey empathy. Acknowledge when a colleague is having a tough day. You don’t need to fix it—just noticing matters. 

• Listen to understand. Not to respond. Not to correct. To understand. 

• Recognize others. Name what someone is doing well. Say it to them, not just about them. 

• Treat others professionally. Extend the same courtesy to every colleague, regardless of their role, their age, their cultural background, or how long they’ve been on the team. 

• Collaborate. Offer to help before being asked. Share ideas openly. 

• Share the workload. Take collective responsibility, especially when the team is short-staffed. 

None of these requires permission, a budget, or a title. They are available to every person, every day, in every interaction. 

What to remember 

A workplace free of harassment and bullying is a good starting point. But it is only a starting point. The real opportunity is a workplace where people actively choose dignity, kindness, and respect—every day, in every interaction. 

That choice belongs to each of us. It does not depend on whether we like someone. It does not require approval. It is simply the decision to show up with civility, compassion, and authenticity. 

That decision ripples outward. It shapes how we feel about coming to work, how protected we are from burnout, and whether we experience genuine belonging. Respect and belonging reinforce each other—each act of civility builds something much larger than itself. 

FAQ

Why this matters for you 
Your health: Respectful workplaces reduce the emotional toll and burnout associated with care work.  
Your team: Proactive respect builds the trust needed to safely share heavy physical workloads.  
Your control: You cannot control the staffing levels or the schedule, but you have 100% control over how you treat the person next to you.