How is choice related to self-care?

Making choices is a form of self-care that strengthens our sense of agency—the feeling that we are in charge of our own lives. When we choose deliberately, we feel more autonomous and less like passive recipients of what’s happening around us.

Feeling in control is important during times when we may feel pressured, overwhelmed, powerless or helpless. Reclaiming choice, even in small ways, can reduce stress and support emotional balance. For people who have experienced trauma, choice can be especially meaningful. Trauma often involves situations where choice was taken away. Being able to choose again can support healing and help regulate the nervous system.

That sense of autonomy supports mental and emotional well-being, lowers stress and helps us engage more fully in our work, relationships and self-care.

Tips for making choices

Making choices isn’t always easy. Fatigue, burnout, trauma and people-pleasing habits can make decision-making feel overwhelming.

• Notice when a choice is available and name it clearly to yourself. This may feel small or even silly, but it reinforces autonomy and builds confidence for bigger decisions.
• When choices are offered, take them. When they aren’t offered, look for ways to create them.
• Even when it feels like there is no choice, there is often still something you can choose—how you respond, how you pace yourself, or what you focus on next.

Make your choices intentionally, rather than automatically.

Everyday examples of choosing

• You’re offered a break before or after mealtime: Instead of saying, “Whatever works,” pause and choose what supports you best.
• A colleague asks where you’d like to go for coffee: Pick a place that works for you.
• You’re short-staffed and feeling overwhelmed: Say to yourself, “I choose to take two minutes to breathe before continuing.”
• You’re deciding what to eat for dinner: Choose based on what feels best for your body and energy, rather than defaulting to someone else’s preference.
• You’re stuck in traffic: Choose what you listen to—calm music, silence or a podcast—to remind yourself you still have agency.
• A friend asks what you want to watch or where you want to go: Choose an option instead of deferring.
• You’re feeling overwhelmed at home: Choose to step outside for fresh air or take a 60-second pause.

Supporting others with choice

Recognizing how important choice is to self-care also means thinking about how we offer choice to others.

Offering choice supports autonomy, respect and psychological safety.

Examples include:

• “I’m flexible with my break. Would you prefer yours before or after mine?”
• “Would you like to talk about this now, or would later work better?”
• “We need to complete both tasks today. Would you rather start with A or B?”
• “Would you like support with this, or would you prefer to try on your own first?”